Why comparing yourself to others is a good thing...
I always had a problem with a number of frequently used catch phrases like "don't compare yourself to others" or "be authentic" or "follow your passion". Aaaggghhhh.
Here, I want to talk about the "don't compare yourselves to others" especially as it comes to Facebook (just because that is what I hear this about the most often).
I couldn't put it in words why it's been bugging me, but here is my (probably) not very popular view on this.
I've been thinking and thinking and the first thing that came to mind is that it is all so backwards. Why is it wrong that we want people to see our successes? Why would't we want people to know what we are good at, to celebrate with us? Why is it wrong that we don't share our mistakes or our setbacks or our struggles? Have we done that in the past? I don't think so. So now that people get depressed about their "failed life", that it doesn't come to them "easy", because others are doing better than them is not Facebook's fault. Nothing changed, we just see hundreds of successes not just the ones in our community. Now we are encouraged to share our hardship to make others feel better. That is the same as everyone gets a trophy in my opinion. Why can't people be happy for others? Why can't people get inspiration from these successes? I think it's exactly this everyone gets a trophy mentality. This coddling society created unfit humans for work, for struggle, for disappointment, for life.
I believe it is in our DNA to compare ourselves to others, that is how we figured out who the alpha male/female was, but what we do with that information is crucial.
We don't look at our shortcomings to see how we can get better but instead we call the others names or say they are lucky. If we are at the total mercy of our surroundings and our circumstances, we are not in control of our paths, it's obvious that others somehow fell into their good fortunes.
"Be constructively self-critical" says David J. Schwartz in his book The Magic of thinking Big. "Don't run away from inadequacies. Be like the real professionals. They seek out their faults and weaknesses, then correct them." "Don't, of course, try to find your faults so you can say to yourself, "Here's another reason I'm a loser." Instead view your mistakes as "Here's another way to make me a bigger winner.""
When we see the Facebook posts as another success or happy occasion/opportunity that someone achieved, that we can help them celebrate, let's do that and use it as fuel for our own journey. Understand that "overnight" success takes 10 years of hard work.
How about we make that the new catch phrase?